well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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