kristin has been a bad kristin
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
