She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
