Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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