got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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