She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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