oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize