Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
We left the knife in your bed.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
