But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
