a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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