Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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