There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
