Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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