at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
