Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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