Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
