i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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