I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
