I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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