Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
