we have officially lost it.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sorry about my life...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
