good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
