I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
