oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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