oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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