Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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