I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
did i just pee glitter
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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