please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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