Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
