She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
