i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
