Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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