Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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