If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
