That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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