yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
