So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
