I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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