Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
smell my finger.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
me + whiskey = a bad person
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize