It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
