Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
