that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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