I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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