Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
