no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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