you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Randomize
