Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When did angry sex become our thing?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
