i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
