My hand turned me down
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
