We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
