I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Be still, my beating vagina.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
