I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
