he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Girls should come with a carfax report
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
