sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
