do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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