Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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