Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
