If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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