I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
