Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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