Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
