I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
as a side note pls kill me
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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