some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
