Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
