dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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