The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
