you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
