I need help removing her.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
