well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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