I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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