My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My balls are so social today.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
