The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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