The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
