I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize