He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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